Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
