Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
