I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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