before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Found the puke drawer
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
