More tranny stories later!
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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