I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
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After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
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I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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