They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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