Pappa wants mamma naked
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?