I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Non-Jews are for practice
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.