then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
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There was a lot of him and a little penis
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
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just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month