Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(949): View more from California

i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way

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(949): i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way http://tfl.nu/yxz9

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(270): View more from Kentucky

If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.

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(270): If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit. http://tfl.nu/gpdl

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(607): View more from New York

Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.

(1-607): View more from New York

I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.

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(607): Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom. (1-607): I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts. http://tfl.nu/s0vw

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(719): View more from Colorado

Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true

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(719): Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true http://tfl.nu/xhyv

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(513): View more from Ohio

i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home

(419): View more from Ohio

move.

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(513): i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home (419): move. http://tfl.nu/91am

Replies (19) Good night (902) Bad night (7203)
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(606): View more from Kentucky

Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.

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(606): Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes. http://tfl.nu/z8mg

Replies (23) Good night (3510) Bad night (1954) Order T-Shirt
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(807): View more from Ontario

Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables

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(807): Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables http://tfl.nu/0ytp

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(712): View more from Iowa

she used her one phone call to ask me about my day

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(712): she used her one phone call to ask me about my day http://tfl.nu/55gn

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.

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(617): It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics. http://tfl.nu/iz1w

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(678): View more from Georgia

Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.

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(678): Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago. http://tfl.nu/b245

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(703): View more from Virginia

The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.

(703): View more from Virginia

The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.

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(703): The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night. (703): The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie. http://tfl.nu/hgcg

Replies (27) Good night (996) Bad night (2535)
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(510): View more from California

A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"

(1-510): View more from California

Berkeley was the right choice

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(510): A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by" (1-510): Berkeley was the right choice http://tfl.nu/la9d

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(248): View more from Michigan

Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..

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(248): Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced.. http://tfl.nu/34jd

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.

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(505): Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood. http://tfl.nu/7ohn

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now

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(704): I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now http://tfl.nu/20zt

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