My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.