I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.