I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.