Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
