My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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