i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
