If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize