he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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