Fuck appropriateness.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
