I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
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Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
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Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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