Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize