Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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