How'd it feel making her break her religion?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize