She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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