There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study