Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
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PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
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I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?