if you like me you must not know who I am
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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