But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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