i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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