dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
