She said her name was "party"
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
