My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.