it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
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What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT