Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much. http://tfl.nu/renf
  Replies (23) Good night (621) Bad night (4278) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it. http://tfl.nu/xnwu
  Replies (10) Good night (999) Bad night (4376) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?

  (734): View more from Michigan

  She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award? (734): She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy. http://tfl.nu/0kwr
  Replies (33) Good night (970) Bad night (2788)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go http://tfl.nu/d1mz
  Replies (15) Good night (5123) Bad night (1168) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times http://tfl.nu/be2v
  Replies (14) Good night (1545) Bad night (4330) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing. http://tfl.nu/gg1f
  Replies (26) Good night (5950) Bad night (792) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame? http://tfl.nu/ixm6
  Replies (29) Good night (1492) Bad night (3732) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex. http://tfl.nu/bdfn
  Replies (5) Good night (4612) Bad night (700) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (989): I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made. http://tfl.nu/gowl
  Replies (5) Good night (3596) Bad night (778) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (712): in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am. http://tfl.nu/pxzm
  Replies (5) Good night (2405) Bad night (990)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN http://tfl.nu/wx6s
  Replies (7) Good night (2361) Bad night (481) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer http://tfl.nu/zfwz
  Replies (13) Good night (1660) Bad night (901) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while. http://tfl.nu/y6er
  Replies (10) Good night (1004) Bad night (670) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie. http://tfl.nu/su8u
  Replies (6) Good night (1089) Bad night (300) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard. http://tfl.nu/a8iw
  Replies (1) Good night (765) Bad night (256) Order T-Shirt

Randomize