i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..