Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
