The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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