i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
