Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
