I wish my penis had an off switch
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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