If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
she peed on how many people?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize