you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
