do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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