Non-Jews are for practice
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
