i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
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