I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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