it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
