Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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