I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
