i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
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i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
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literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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