I love black thongs
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
