You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
