Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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