just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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