Are we in a gay sports bar?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize