shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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