You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Randomize
