they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
