seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
